


The Christmas Proposal

by elizabiscuit



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe, Christmas, Enemies to Lovers, Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, Marriage of Convenience, Mention of sexual harrassment, My First Work in This Fandom, New York City, Snowed In, mention of disassociation, tw: deportation, tw: immigration
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-06
Updated: 2019-07-06
Packaged: 2020-06-22 06:35:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19661809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elizabiscuit/pseuds/elizabiscuit
Summary: Hux makes millions doing not-exactly-legal trades at a New York City hedge fund when he discovers his work visa has expired. Facing not only deportation to his native England, but also SEC takedown of the entire firm and potentially criminal prosecution, Hux agrees to marry his American coworker Kylo for citizenship. To sell the story to the immigration and SEC officers assigned to investigate them, Hux and Kylo travel to Kylo's hometown in Maine to spend Christmas with the Skywalker-Solo-Organa family.Loosely based on the (pretty ridiculous) 2009 Ryan Reynolds and Sandra Bullock movie "The Proposal," except it's Christmas.





	The Christmas Proposal

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is a story where one of the main plot points has to do with U.S. immigration. A) writing a story about the zany, low-risk hijinks that ensue from a rich white guy's issues with U.S. immigration is... problematic right now, and B) I have done absolutely no research into whether any of the immigration law stuff I pulled out of my ass is at all plausible. To make up for this I have made a $50 donation to RAICES Texas. Check them out at RAICESTexas.org. 
> 
> PS My insider trading/SEC knowledge is completely based on the TV show Billions. 
> 
> PPS Carrie Fisher was Jewish, so in a real world AU it would make sense to have Leia be Jewish too, but I did not because I wanted to make a Christmas story. 
> 
> PPPS It's Christmas in July!!!!!!!!!

“It is 5:12 AM, December 19th, 28 degrees Fahrenheit, negative two Celsius, cloudy with an 80% chance of snow,” Hux’s smart mirror stated in a pleasant, vaguely British computerized voice as the automatic lights switched on in his closet. “You have 68 unread emails and 15 text messages. Four messages are marked ‘Urgent’ from Captain, Phasma. Would you like me to read them?”

“Ugh, no,” grimaced Hux. Phasma could wait until after he’d had his coffee. 

“Very good sir.” The mirror began playing one of Bach’s cello concertos. Hux selected a sedate, navy blue Armani, the wingtip Ferragamos, and an understated Rolex. “Have a good day,” chirped the mirror as Hux left the closet and the lights switched off. He grabbed his coat, gloves and scarf from the sitting room where he’d left them the night before—not that he necessarily needed them. His driver picked him up in the garage of his building, and deposited him in the garage of his office building. As the car sat in traffic, Hux took a fortifying gulp of coffee and opened the messages from Phasma. Then immediately choked. 

Hux tried to pull himself together the last five minutes of the drive, and did an admirable job, he thought, by not breaking into a run down the hallway to his office. Phasma was already seated in one of the plush chairs across from his desk and Hux made sure the door was closed behind him before rounding on her.  


“What the fuck do you mean my visa is expired?” Hux spluttered. Phasma opened her mouth to respond, but then Hux glanced past her shoulder and saw Kylo lurking in the corner behind her, messing with one of his kinetic sculptures. "And what the fuck is Kylo doing in here? Put that down before you break something, you massive fuckwit." 

Kylo turned around, a look of surprised mirth on his face, but he had at least set down the sculpture. "Hell if I know. Phasma brought me in here. But wait, your visa is expired? Does that mean you're going to get deported?" 

"No!" shouted Hux. 

Kylo pulled his phone out of his pocket. "Hang on. I'm calling ICE." 

"BOYS." Phasma stood. Hux was 6'1, and Kylo was maybe an inch taller, but with her heels on, Phasma towered over them both. Even Kylo, who Hux had noticed maintained an affectation of bored indifference towards everyone, cowered a little. Their attention secured, Phasma twisted her face into an expression that Hux believed was meant to express concern and sympathy. It was not reassuring. 

"Hux, your visa has not yet expired, but it is due to expire on December 29. With the holidays coming, there is no time to renew it. If you are working here when your visa expires, Immigration and Customs Enforcement will have the authority to access all of Snoke Cap's records. Once ICE has the records, they will also be available to the Securities and Exchange Commission." 

"Oh shit. We do not want the SEC getting our records," said Kylo. 

"Thanks, Captain Obvious," Hux muttered.

Kylo turned to Phasma, snapping his fingers like he had a fantastic idea. "I have a great solution to this problem. Fire Hux."

Phasma glowered at them both. "If only it were that easy. We need Hux until January 15 to close the Mikhailov deal." Hux gloated inwardly as realization dawned on Kylo's face. The Russians had plainly stated that they would not do business with anyone but Hux. Sure, maybe it had to do less with Hux's business acuity and more with the elder Lady Mikhailov's fixation with Hux's red hair, but Hux could endure some minor sexual harassment for the sake of five billion dollars. 

"So, if we get rid of Hux, we don't get the Mikhailov deal. But if we don't, we're all going to jail and we're never getting any deals again. This doesn't seem like a hard decision," Kylo said. 

"Why are you in here again?" Hux asked. Phasma and Kylo ignored him. 

"Do _you_ want to be the one to tell Snoke we're not getting that five billion Kylo?" Phasma sighed, settling back into the chair. "And here's the thing. Hux's visa wasn't supposed to expire in January. It was supposed to expire in February. But now all the online records are saying January." 

Now this was alarming. A federal agency falsifying records? "You think they're trying to set us up?" said Hux.

"Well it wouldn't be the first time ICE has played fast and loose with the law," said Phasma.

Hux sat down at his desk, and Kylo sat in the chair next to Phasma. Both were silent, thinking of life after telling Snoke they weren't going to get the Mikhailov deal. Perhaps jail was preferable. 

Phasma broke the silence. “There may be a way for us to get the Mikhailov deal AND avoid prosecution,” said Phasma. 

Both of the boys groaned. “For God’s sake Phasma, why didn’t you lead with that?” Hux said.

“Because she has to make everything as dramatic as possible. Must be a lawyer thing,” Kylo answered. 

Phasma ignored this and leaned in conspiratorially. “It’s going to be a Hail Mary pass and may not work. But there’s something.” 

“I’m listening.” 

“Before your visa expires, you could obtain citizenship through marriage." 

“Wow, that really was as dramatic as the lead up indicated,” Kylo said. 

Hux spluttered. He was doing a lot of that today. “I’m not getting married!” 

Phasma continued to ignore Kylo. “Hux, it’s the only way, I promise. It’s not like I ENJOY telling you this.” Phasma’s face twisted into the attempted concern/sympathy look again.  Kylo on the other hand was making no attempt to hide his delight. 

“Wait, so who’s the lucky lady? Or guy? Or non-binary person?” 

Phasma turned to Kylo. “You, Ren.” 

“What?” Now both of them were spluttering.

Phasma's face had shifted back into her usual conniving expression. It was somehow less unnerving than the attempted look of concern. “I’ve thought about this. The company policy doesn’t allow for superiors to date subordinates—if we say you guys have been dating in violation of the policy, it will create a distraction, and an excuse for the immigration officer why no one knew you were dating for so long.” 

Even through his shock, Hux had to admit the plan had a kind of elegance. “You truly think of everything, Phasma.” 

Kylo was agape. “What? You’re not actually considering this, are you Hux? What makes either of you think I would agree to this fucked up plan?" 

"Well," Phasma drawled, "seeing as you would be making the Mikhailov deal possible--you would get half the cut." 

"Hell no," said Hux. Kylo appeared to do some calculations in his head, then raised his eyebrows and nodded as if he were now beginning to see the wisdom of Phasma's plan. 

Phasma's glare was steely. "It's your choice Hux. Either you and Kylo get married and he gets half the cut, or you go to jail. Or back to England, if there's anything left of you to send back after you finish telling Snoke we're not getting five billion dollars because you forgot to file some paperwork." 

Hux winced. She was right. This was really happening. 

Phasma continued. "There's more. ICE has assigned an immigration officer to interview you and Kylo to ascertain whether your relationship is fraudulent. They will be arriving here at the office at 3:00 pm today." 

"Wait, what?" said Hux. "I didn't know I was supposed to be marrying Kylo until right now. How could they have assigned an immigration officer already?" 

Phasma's face contorted again into something that Hux believed was meant to express contrition. He definitely preferred the scheming face. "I may have taken the liberty of telling ICE about your relationship. Yesterday." 

Hux groaned and leaned back in his chair. Kylo looked impressed. 

More of a futile last complaint than a real argument, Hux said, feebly, "This won't work. No one will actually believe that I've been dating _him._ "

"You'd be surprised," Phasma muttered, examining her nails. 

* * *

Hux took his customary spot at the head of the long polished conference table, surrounded by members of the Snoke Cap board. Mercifully, Snoke himself wasn't in attendance, which wasn't unusual. Board meetings tended to go better if Snoke wasn't there, since board members were often unsettled by the fact that he looked like a dessicated corpse. And how he would appear to be sleeping until someone was giving a presentation on out-earning a rival firm for the quarter, then he would perk up and reach out a skeletal hand, gasping something like "Yessssss, feed them their own entrails," leaving the room in a disturbed silence until the now-sweating trader resumed his presentation with an awkward "Ummm, right. So, next quarter..." Although at least that was better than when a junior trader was presenting bad news.

Hux stood at the head of the table. “Ladies and gentlemen, I have an apology to make to you. I have violated the terms of our company policy. This may shock you, as you know how seriously I take our ethical rules, but Kylo Ren and I have been in a relationship for the last six months.” Hux paused and waited for horrified and incredulous gasps. 

Crickets. Most of the board members were watching him calmly, or looking at their laptops or phones. Umino surreptitiously elbowed Mitaka, and whispered "Pay up." Mitaka sighed and began fishing in his pocket for his wallet, then caught Hux staring at him and froze. Umino, on the other hand, just shrugged at Hux. "What?" said Umino. "We had a bet." 

This was too much. Hux groaned and passed his hand over his face. 

“Order please. Kylo will be removed from my immediate supervision and I will be taking a leave of absence.” 

“Oh my god. You're as dramatic as Phasma, Hux." Kylo piped up from the chair to Hux's right, where he had been slouching and very obviously and unprofessionally playing Candy Crush. "We are going to be gone four days, he's taking vacation time for the first time in his life. We’re going to my folks’ for Christmas," Kylo clarified to the board.

Hux had heard of a phenomenon when your mind would leave your body during times of extreme stress--disassociation, he thought. He could really use some of that right now. "And Kylo and I will be getting married," said Hux. 

"I don't know about that. I haven't gotten a ring yet," Kylo said sweetly. "Are you going to propose on Christmas, baby?" He looked up at Hux and grinned. 

Kylo was clearly taking immense pleasure in tormenting Hux. Billions of dollars, if not the fate of the firm, were at stake, and Kylo thought this was _fun_. Hux despised him. But something about the way Kylo's face transformed with his wide smile, and the way he said "baby," made Hux's stomach do something weird. 

Oh, thought Hux. Oh, I thought this couldn't get any worse. 


End file.
